Review: How To Care for Your Monster by Norman Bridwell

How to Care for Your Monster - Norman Bridwell

In case you missed it, reading this book happened because:


1) I posted about Norman Bridwell and a couple of his books you might not have read




2) After a bit of messing about on Google I found that I could check this book out on Open Library.


Open Library link here.


Silly me, I thought I'd post the review the next day. I had this idea that I'd be that fast since the book's only 64 pages. I finished it - but then I said "oh I'll just do this other thing first" - and we all know how that goes, right?


Much of Open Library's content are scans of actual print books. This particular book, on its title page, has written in crayon: Double Terrific. And the names Dana right (her non capitalized last name or she's correct?) and Johnny Graham. I'm assuming Dana had it last since Johnny's name is crossed out. So there's our book history.


Anyway, the fun part is that I still love this book. I was worried that nostalgia might have made me think it was better than it was. Nope, it's still the same fun drawings and sweet sense of humor - yet just enough dark humor to still love all the more. This is the kind of gently warped lit that has made me what I am today. (That and being introduced to Monty Python and George Carlin when I wasn't yet in high school. Plus lots of monster movies!)


One of the particularly delightful things about the book to kid-me was that it's written as nonfiction. Because who doesn't want to live in a neighborhood where there are Monster Stores and Mad Scientist neighbors?


From the book's opening:

p. 3: "So you want to own a monster? Many people do these days. You can bring a monster into your home. It's just a matter of finding one you like.

This book will tell you how to get your monster, and how to keep him healthy and happy."


Keep in mind that all of these quotes have drawings, sometimes more than one, to illustrate them. And the details are terribly fun. But I think you can see some of that just from the text.


p. 4: "If you are lucky enough to live in a town that has a monster store, getting a monster should be easy. Just show Dad the ad and ask him for some money.


Thank him and run - before he asks questions."


p 6-7: "If new monsters are too expensive, buy a used monster. Check him carefully. Used monsters may be slightly damaged.


Some have been thrown over cliffs or burned a little in old windmills by angry owners or hard-to-please villagers.


If you can't buy a new or used monster, perhaps you can have one made to order."


p 8-9: "The Frankenstein monster is put together in a way I would rather not go into. Making one is not a do-it-yourself project. I suggest that you ask your friendly neighborhood Mad Doctor for help. He will enjoy picking up the pieces and putting them together. And he probably won't charge you - just the monster.


Your friendly neighborhood Mad Doctor may already have a monster hidden somewhere in his office. Look around. If you find him and he likes you, he may follow you home. The monster, not the doctor."


p 23-25 "Dig Up a Friend - A Mummy

If your family is always telling you to turn down the record player, and not to shout, giggle, or slam doors, then a mummy is the monster for you. He makes very little noise - except at night. Then your mummy will go thump-thump across the attic floor, right over the family's heads. Well, that will show them what noise really is.


...If your monster store doesn't stock mummy-monsters, you have a problem. Unless someone in your family has stolen a Mummy's Hand. In that case, the mummy will find you. But don't count on it. Maybe you can get acquainted with a mummy in your local museum."


p 38-39: "Now we come to the biggest problem a vampire fan must face. Vampires don't eat the foods we do - they crave a special liquid diet.


So a vampire-owner needs to have a large and understanding family and a lot of very good friends who will help out at feeding time. One person can't do it all alone."


On the werewolf:


p 47-48: "If he acts sluggish and out of sorts take him to the doctor or to a veterinarian. Which one you take him to depends on the moon. Don't delay. It could be distemper...


...or it could be someone he ate. Count your friends.


Don't blame your monster. After all, you wanted a werewolf and you got it."


Of course you really should see the illustrations to fully appreciate all those quotes. Thankfully there are a few folk online who are also fans of the book, and so there are some scans of the pages here:


Mixed Up Monster Club: How to Care for Your Monster by Norman Bridwell

(You'll see many of the pages I've just quoted at this link! Nice scans too.)


The Haunted Closet: How to Care for Your Monster


Frankensteinia: Norman Bridwell's How To Care for Your Monster


The Drunken Severed Head: How To Care for Your Monster

(This blog also has a post here about a reprint edition you do NOT want to buy.)



And finally, here's a link from an interview with Bridwell where he briefly mentions the book: Norman Bridwell Interview Transcript (not dated?):


You mentioned earlier that you had close to 120 stories that were rejected. Have you ever experimented with creating any other series besides Clifford and the Witch stories?
I did a series about monsters, not scary monsters — funny monsters. The book we did was How to Care for Your Monster, based on the idea that a kid would have to take care of their Frankenstein monster or a werewolf. I've done other books like Kangaroo Stew, A Tiny Family, and Tiny Charlie.


Anyway, this was probably the year's best reread because it was just me and kid-me, reading along and remembering. And thinking about how great it was that Bridwell had funny ideas about monsters and didn't worry about how weird the book might seem.